


the gallon milk challenge

by sweggscellent



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Humor, Milk, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 01:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5808745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweggscellent/pseuds/sweggscellent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	the gallon milk challenge

**Author's Note:**

> hello again  
> this fic is exactly what you think it is, so if vomiting squicks u out, this is your warning  
> second: this is the first in a series of loosely related oneshots i'll be writing that may or may not be purposeless funny bullshit  
> thirdly, this is loosely inspired by [the slow mo guys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=257ulh06BJA) (cw for vomiting)  
> enjoi

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

Kuroo huffs, glancing sharply at Kenma where he’s sitting cross-legged on a lawn chair. He doesn’t look up from his PSP.

“Bro, c’mon,” Bokuto says, pulling Kuroo’s focus back to the task at hand. He wiggles the jug he’s holding for emphasis. “This is gonna be awesome.”

Kuroo sighs half-dubiously, eyes flickering between the earnest look on Bokuto’s face and the gallon of milk he’s clutching in his own fist. It had been his idea, at least partly, and they’d already bought the milk. He couldn’t back out now if he wanted to.

“Dude, seriously,” Bokuto says, expression sobering a bit when he notices Kuroo’s apprehension. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“We already know what’s going to happen,” Akaashi pipes up from behind Kenma, watching the blond’s game from over his shoulder.

“That’s part of the fun!”

“I don’t see how throwing up an entire gallon of milk can be considered _fun_ ,” Kenma interjects quietly, punctuating his statement with a dry glance upwards.

Kuroo sighs loudly, interrupting their banter. “Let’s just do this.”

“Hell yeah, son,” Bokuto says excitedly, twisting the lid off his jug and taking three large gulps without preamble.

“Dude, slow down,” Kuroo laughs, uncapping his own jug and taking a slower drink.

“Go hard or go home,” Bokuto says into the mouth of his gallon, causing milk to cascade down his chin. Kuroo snorts a bit, milk spraying from his lips.

“You guys are disgusting,” Akaashi says. Kuroo laughs again.

“Who do you think will go first,” Kenma says under his breath. Akaashi sniffs and tries to keep his bias to a minimum.

“Kuroo-san, absolutely. Look at Bokuto-san. He can handle anything. Kuroo-san is a weak man.”

Kenma lifts his gaze from his screen, staring at Bokuto and Kuroo as they drink their milk and jab at each other, trying to get the other to laugh or jostle enough to throw up first. Bokuto seems to be winning; he has a line of milk down the front of his shirt from where it had dribbled down his face, but the entire front of Kuroo’s shirt looks soaked through.

“Maybe,” Kenma says vaguely as he resumes his game.

It doesn’t last much longer after that.

Bokuto is laughing, raising his half-empty jug of milk to his mouth in preparation for another drink, when out of nowhere, he starts projectile vomiting.

“Holy shit!” Kuroo laughs, watching raptly as Bokuto doubles over, clutching his stomach as he continues puking.

“I think I won that bet,” Kenma says, and Akaashi hums, a bit surprised.

“I really thought Bokuto-san could hold his own.”

“Fuck,” Bokuto says raggedly, breathing hard as he leans back up. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Jesus.”

“Dude, look how much you puked!” Kuroo says, pointing to the sizeable puddle of white on the ground. “Sick!”

“That’s fucked up,” Bokuto says, wide-eyed. He catches sight of Kuroo’s own gallon. “Holy shit, bro, are you _done_?”

“What? Yeah,” Kuroo says, turning his jug upside down and watching as only a few drops of milk trickle out.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Mm, yeah. I think I’m good,” Kuroo says, patting his stomach contently. He nods to himself.

“Well done,” Kenma says, mildly impressed. Behind him, Akaashi is nodding.

“Thank you, thank you,” Kuroo says, making to take a bow when suddenly, he’s retching, too.

“Holy shit,” Bokuto says through his raucous laughter, almost losing it when the milk comes out of Kuroo’s nose, too. “Good my ass! Look how much you’re puking! Ew!”

“Shut up,” Kuroo manages weakly before doubling over again.

“Oh my God!”

Behind them, Akaashi rubs idly at his nose, and Kenma sniffs.

“Yeah,” he says, fingers moving fast over the buttons of his PSP, “You’re right. Kuroo is a weak man.”

“I heard that!”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://trashcollect.tumblr.com/), where i happen to be taking prompts for this series


End file.
